Who is Saint Lane, and what is Saint Lane Island?
Well, Saint Lane is a mythical entity that watches over the Lane family, and those in their circle of friends and associates. He or she was born of a proclaimed virgin, though really a wandering promiscuous gipsy in the back mountains of Antarctica. Baptized by a Franciscan monk, who only bathed once every five years, he or she can be counted on to always give opinion or advice, and is never wrong. (Sounds like some in the family) Though seldom ever heard of, Saint Lane is the greatest of all Saints who abounds from the nether regions of tranquility. (What??)
As for Saint Lane Island, it is where you will find the Lane family.
Surrounded by clear blue water, and engulfed in the warm breeze of a summer’s night, you will find the members of Saint Lane Island living the lives of the Gods. Bathed in tequila, and feeding on wild boar, this clan holds the light for the world to follow.
On the top of the mighty oak, in the middle of Saint Lane Island, is Terry and Marilyn. They are the founding Father and Mother, the patriarchs of the mass that follows. They live in Prunedale California, at the top of the hill, at the end of the road. They are visited by deer and peacocks, and often three monsters that live down the lane. Terry is semi-retired, but still plugging away at the old abode up north. He is not quite at the stage of passing gas whenever he walks, but that may not be far away. His loving wife Marilyn, unfortunately is at that stage, God bless her. But, we forgive her just the same. (What that means, I have no idea) Marilyn, the Madonna of our lives is doing well. When you walk into her home, she will still pick up your shoes within moments of you taking them off, and stash them away in a safe and hidden place that you may never find, but through many years of experience, and a “short stint in rehab”, she no longer feels the need to make your bed before you even wake up out of it.
The next on the tree is Mathew. He left us a few years back, but most likely, he is the angel watching over Saint Lane Island keeping the perfect storm from touching our shores.
Down below, not worthy to be on the same branch, are Russell and Sharon. Russell a son, and Sharon the wife live in a remote part of the island (some call Riverton, Utah), appearing periodically to the masses, spreading joy and peace to all. Russell who was once given a ruler that said, “As a rule… If there is nothing to be said, I’m sure you’ll say it”, is still living by that code. He works for the Widget airline and will only be able to retire when he turns 95. Sharon works a little more than part-time, and takes good care of their three kids, Jennifer (25), Curtis (22), and Natalie (16). More to follow on those three.
On a branch to the right, are the little people, Gregory and Cheryl. When not playing golf, and absorbing vodka, Gregory can be found under people’s huts, making clean their old and brittle waste systems. Cheryl, who keeps a firm grip on Gregory, keeping him on the straight and narrow, works within the industry that cleans and restores teeth. It is ironic that she covers where the food goes in, and he where the food goes out. (Kind of) Their cabana is in San Jose. They have three kids named Mathew (25), Michael (24), and Briana (17). Again, more to come with the kids.
North on the tree is Julie. She is the intellect that was smart, and never allowed herself to be pinned down by a groping gorilla. Julie can be found in the center of all that is fun and crazy. She draws playfulness to her like flies on.. well, you know. Kids love her, and the rest… well, we love her too. She lives in San Ramon, and works for the company who brings us the great Thanksgiving parade each year.
Towards the center of the tree, not far from the founding Father and Mother, are Leanna and Todd. Picture a little white house, with a white picket fence, three adoring children, and a well-behaved dog, and you will not picture them. (Just kidding) They really are the great American family, and bring the property value up on the island. Leanna can be found taking great care of her family, and working at the kid’s school. Todd can be found gallivanting around the world smoking cigars, and playing golf, while selling something that most do not understand. They live just down the beach, close to the house at the top of the hill, at the end of the road. (Prunedale) Their three kids are Evan (14), Conner (12), and Andrew (9).
